How To Cope With The Grief After Miscarriage?

Family CounselingJune 8, 2021

If the reports published by Time magazine are to be believed, 30 percent of pregnant women face the pain of miscarriage. As per other estimates, a minimum of one out of four women in the U.S. will have to endure miscarriage at one point or the other. The number of women facing miscarriages happens to be more than the publicly acknowledged figure. Those who had to deal with the loss go through a lot of emotional and physical turmoil. Intense grief and even a breakdown are responses that are quite natural in a critical situation such as this. Experts, including gynecologists and psychiatrists, have been talking about the impact of a miscarriage on women and have helped out with a few ways to cope with the grief and loss.

A Miscarriage is Undoubtedly a Big Loss in a Woman’s Life

Miscarriage is equivalent to losing your baby. The mother is naturally drowned in sadness and pain and normally needs significant time to take herself out of the grief. On top of that, a taboo exists around miscarriage and that leaves the woman with almost no opportunity to share what she is feeling with others. That makes her life a lot harder and often, she is unable to cope with her loss.

It’s Tougher to Deal with the Loss if the Miscarriage Happens in Late-Pregnancy

As time progresses in pregnancy, a pregnant woman goes through several scans. She notices the image of the baby, identifies the baby, and slowly starts building up a connection with them. If the miscarriage happens in the second or the third trimester, it is bound to force her to undergo huge emotional turmoil.

A Majority of Women Blame Themselves

A mother facing a miscarriage might blame themselves for the loss. Their regret knows no end and she starts feeling guilty as if she is the only reason for the failure. Her mind is clouded with thoughts of what she could have done to prevent the loss and consequently, takes all the blame on herself. Some myths do the round regarding a miscarriage.

As per those myths, a woman can face a miscarriage owing to any intense activity, frequent travel, or consumption of papaya. If pregnancy is unplanned and a miscarriage happens, the mother usually tends to think that she lost the baby because she didn’t want it. With that being said, chromosomal abnormalities can lead to miscarriages in the early stages.

How to Cope with a Miscarriage?

If you have recently faced a miscarriage, you need to focus on your emotional and physical health. You need to take proper rest. You have endured a huge loss and if you don’t allow your body to take ample rest, your body wouldn’t be able to recover. Make it a point to get rest for a week or two. It’s completely up to you who you would want to share your feelings with. Of course, it’s not everyone you would wish to speak to in this painful time.

If someone tries to strike up a conversation regarding this and you are not comfortable with that individual, avoid them gently or clearly tell them that you are not ready to discuss the topic. Share your feelings with someone you can trust. It can be anyone from your family, a friend, or your life partner. Discussing things with your soulmate can be really helpful as they too have gone through the loss. They can feel your pain much better than others. Express your thoughts and feelings in whichever way you feel is comfortable for you.

When Does One Need Help or Counseling?

Usually, the grief dies down in two to three weeks as the mother slowly lets the pain go. As life gets back on track, a woman’s physical as well as emotional health recovers. However, some mothers might not be able to cope with the loss and might need help.

Under what circumstances does this happen? When the mother displays irregular sleeping patterns, keeps blaming herself, has repetitive thoughts, fails to share her grief with anyone, faces health issues, thinks of death more too often, etc., it’s time to seek help or counseling before anything untoward happens.

If you’re the one who is into this, have someone with these symptoms in your family, or know anyone facing such issues, you must definitely contact a counselor as soon as possible.