Raising Your Child To Be A Successful Adult: These Are The Small Things That Count!

Family CounselingSeptember 7, 2020

When you are raising kids, there is so much that you are worried about doing right – no matter what parenting style you follow. It is certainly a challenge to take on the responsibility of raising a little one to become a grown adult with all the values and principles you want them to have. Sometimes, you could be doing what you think is right, but it may be a step in the wrong direction.

There is no hard and fast rule about raising children though, and we aren’t here to tell you that you are doing it wrong. But the advice here is based on countless observations and studies and supported by a lot of research. It might be a fresh perspective on something you are trying to do for your child. Keep reading to find guidance on raising your child to be a successful adult.

Give Them Responsibility

Responsibility is a big word, and it is also one of the biggest lessons you can teach your child. However, you can actually do it in the smallest of ways. As parents, it can be difficult not to try to protect your child from every failure and not to jump in and control every little thing, thinking they are too young to do it themselves. It makes sense that giving a child $5 to spend and letting them do with it what they will, is a better lesson than giving them $5 and telling them what to spend it on. Raise your children to be comfortable making decisions, and be there to support them when they fail or when they have regrets. Teach them, but don’t control them. One day, your child may have $50 000 and that’s when all the lessons you taught them with $5 will come into play because you won’t be there to tell them how to spend it anymore! It isn’t only about an allowance. Let your children plan their day, evaluate their work, and set up their own goals. They will develop the attitude to carry them to success as adults.

Don’t Strive for Happiness

We all want our kids to be happy — of course, we do. But raising them with this idea in mind is generally not a good idea. It may be a better idea to raise your kid with the scruples and values that you wish them to have when they grow up, and happiness will come on its own. You cannot create happiness, but you can teach them patience, loyalty, honesty, independence, and a whole assortment of valuable traits that will bring them happiness when they are healthy adults one day and help them be more successful.

Show Them That They Are Valued

Your child needs to be loved and valued for who they are and not for what they do or what they achieve. Be supportive of your child when he or she fails, and help them get back up when they’re down. Don’t let them feel like they only matter to you for what they get right. Successful adults come from homes where they were valued and not pressured into success. It may seem counter-intuitive, but celebrating your child’s failures can help them grow up to be successful. Carve out some time in your day to give your kid attention, and help them feel valued as people, letting them see that they do matter to you. This will mean setting aside your phone, the TV, the laptop, or that book you were reading – but it is very much worth it at the end of the day!

Don’t Underestimate Chores

You may think it’s okay that you spoil your child and do everything around the house for them. But a child who has never had to lift a finger at home can grow up to be an adult who doesn’t know what to do to contribute in the workplace, for example. This doesn’t mean you have to have a military-like schedule to have them scouring the floors or cleaning the gutters, but simple tasks like cleaning their room or setting the table can teach them very important lessons that will one day help them go further than they would have if you didn’t let them lift a finger. This fosters independence, and it helps your child to grow up with a mindset that they should go the extra mile.

When it comes to raising children, it would be way easier if there was a rule book – but there isn’t. Just remember that it is all the small things that count. The very little lessons you teach them will add up and are more effective than waiting to teach them ‘big lessons’ all at once. Children are sponges, yes, but they like to take in things a little at a time.