Five Ways Yo Be Less Judgmental In 2019
Even if we think of ourselves as highly compassionate and sensible beings, the truth is, at some point in time, we have been judgmental. Whether we are against it or not, judging others or ourselves is actually something we do all the time. Rolling our eyes at some office colleague’s outfit, judging Nick Jonas for marrying an older woman, not finding your BFF’s boyfriend to be the right one for her – we have all done this! Though it doesn’t hurt someone directly if we are talking about celebrities, it might hurt someone you know. Criticizing others and finding fault with their decisions is actually a waste of time and not something we should be doing. Instead, we should concentrate on making our lives better. Judging others happen when we think of them as inferior to us, and it makes us feel secure and works as an ego trip. It is possible to change this habit slowly and become less judgmental. Let us tell you how!
Why Did You Judge In The First Place?
As mentioned before, the urge to judge comes from one or several deep-seated insecurities in our minds. Hence, the moment you judge someone, try to redirect your thoughts to yourself. What is it about the whole situation that might have a connection to you and your life? Why were you trying to make yourself feel better by putting people in a bad light? Once you get curious about your thought process, not only will it take the attention off the whole issue, it will also allow you to view your own thoughts and face your own demons as well.
Find Out Your Triggers
When we judge people, it usually happens out of reflex, and not because we consciously decide to be judgmental about someone or something. However, various situations or even specific people make us more judgmental sometimes. If we can identify those triggers, staying away from them or avoiding them might be a good idea. Becoming aware of our emotional habits help us change our thought process faster, says emotional intelligence coaches. For example, some people might be more judgmental when they are stressed. Once you know all these, you can actually control your feelings when they start to show.
Try To Imagine Yourself In Their Shoes
Before you let your mind decide that what the other person is doing is wrong or weird, stop yourself for a moment and ponder. What if you were in their shoes and they had some reason to justify their behavior? They wouldn’t look too out of place then, would they? Hence, don’t jump to conclusions and give people the benefit of the doubt. A few examples of highly judgmental thoughts are: “She is working full time, she’s not being a good mother to her children.”, “She hugged and kissed me, so I guess she loves me!”, or “He is dressed decently, so he must be a good person.” Imagine yourself in these situations and consider how you might feel if someone judged you for one of these.
Re-frame Your Thoughts
A good way to stop being judgmental is to write those thoughts down every time they resurface. Once you write them down, you should also think of some positive way of re-framing that very scenario. This will not only help you give a newer and better perspective but also refrain you from immediately judging someone the next time. In your mind, you will be creating a similar positive scenario for the people whom you were about to judge. For example, you write down, “My friend Susan was looking fat again for wearing that tight dress today. ” Try to rewrite this positively – My friend Susan was wearing that tight dress again quite confidently. Despite being overweight, she carries it off with elan and I need to know how she stays so confident!” See the difference?
Being judgmental can create negativity in your mind. Also, the fact that you are judging someone in the first place throws some light on your own character. So concentrate on your own mental health and how you can be an even better person instead of finding faults of people and situations that you know little about. Being judgmental also makes us feel guilty later which, again, is not good for our mental health. Hence, as you turn compassionate towards the world around you, show some compassion for yourself, too!
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