Signs You’re In A Dangerous Codependent Relationship
You are a person of your own. While it is romantic to feel like somebody else’s other half, you should value yourself more than others. Anchoring your happiness on another person’s validation can be very dangerous for your self-esteem and mental health. Here are signs you should watch out for.
You Feel Like You Cannot Live Without the Other Person
When you are in love, you find it romantic to have your entire existence circulate around one person. This is how an ideal relationship has been in books and movies, but that is really far from reality. This is not romantic at all, it only signifies how attached you are to one person. This has very little to do with intimacy or connection. This is not sexy at all and neither is it good for either of you.
Recognize your wholeness and completeness as an individual. This might mean some distance, but it is only when this happens that you can really enjoy the other person in your life instead of being an incomplete fraction by yourself. You are not just a slice of cake. You are the cake and everything around you is just icing on top.
You Stay With Your Partner Even With Unhealthy Behavior
You see everything that your partner does wrong. If he or she just happens to be another person, you would hate your partner for sure, but that is not the case. It might come to the point where your relationship would get really toxic, but you will care very little. People around you might begin to realize that you are too dependent on your partner, but you invoke your independence in the wrong way. This can be one strong sign that you have become codependent. Something has to be done.
You might want to feel independent at times, but you get a stronger need to be a part of everything your partner does. More often than not, it is that feeling of distance from your partner that might scare you. If this is the case, it might just mean that you really should keep some distance.
You Play Caregiver
A healthy relationship is one where two mature adults nurture each other, not one child that entirely depends on a parent or a parasite that depends on a host for survival. When you give up a part of yourself just so that you can meet the needs of another person, this diminishes you individual value and this could be disempowering.
You have to take care of yourself more than you do of your partner. You are a free spirit of your own and this means that you and your partner should know how to take care of yourselves. You do not need things to be done for you and neither does your partner since neither of you is helpless individuals. You and your partner are fully capable, and pretending to be impaired is not romantic or healthy at all.
You and Your Partner Have No Boundaries At All
It is okay for you to give up a chunk of your privacy when in a relationship since this is where trust is founded. However, things can go wrong when every single fiber of your being has something to do with your partner to the point of there being no room for just you. If this is the case, you no longer have an existence of your own. Your existence is merely an adjunct of that of your partner.
This is why it is recommended that you and your partner talk to each other and set relationship goals that will satisfy the both of you. It is also important for you to spend some time with family, friends and colleagues to broaden your circle of support. Try being away from each other for certain periods of time to create just the right amount of dependence on each other.
You Never Feel Loved Enough
You sacrifice a part of yourself, you give up a lot of resources and you put up a lot of effort just so that you get secure that you are loved by your partner. Unfortunately, you never feel secure and you end up just giving more and more of yourself away. You always feel like you lack something and that all your misunderstandings are your fault. You feel like there are some things from within you that have to be changed so that you get the love you want. However, this is not realistic. Sooner or later, you will realize that you are chasing the wind.
You are a being that exists independently of others and you do not have to be too dependent on your partner to show that you love each other. What do you think of this list? Hit us up in the comments below.
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