Sibling Rivalry Is Common But If They Seem Not To Care At All, Here’s What You Should Do
It is believed that sibling relationships are often the longest-lasting relationships in the lives of people, or what they say “siblings are forever. “Siblings could also serve as confidants, companions and role models during childhood and adolescence and could be a source of support in the adulthood. On the other hand, sibling rivalry certainly exists and often harms the relationships.
What is Sibling Rivalry?
From the biblical times, sibling rivalry occurred in the time of Cain and Abel. God favored Abel, who was offering the best things he had to God. This made Cain kill Abel due to jealousy. And God punished Cain and then sent him to the wilderness.
So, what is sibling rivalry? Well, it is a feeling of jealousy, competition that makes siblings argue and no speak to each other. This situation often becomes a big concern for a lot of parents and certainly stresses them.
For many years, family experts have underrated the sibling relationship accepting the issues and it’s components as a normal thing to happen.
What Causes Sibling Rivalry?
Developmental psychologists and clinicians found that the sibling bond is complicated, unstable and influenced by several factors. The success or failure of a sibling relationship depends on factors such as genetics, parental treatment, gender, ethnic and generational patterns, life events and people and experiences outside the family and the environment.
What makes them feel as ‘rivals’? One notion for this is the parental and societal comparison. From the time of growing up, siblings are compared who gets the tooth first or who walks, crawls and speaks first. This comparison continues from school to college to workplace. These include matters such as who has the biggest house, drives the best car and who makes the most money, among others.
Things to do when dealing with Sibling Rivalry
The sibling rivalry could continue from childhood into adulthood. It is significant that parents should do something about it and manage their children to get along better to avoid fighting. Parents could control sibling rivalry in the following ways:
1. Do not show signs of favoritism
It is natural in the family that one child could be easier as the other, or parents see something of themselves in one child that they don’t see at the other child. Yet, it is significant not to show any signs of outward favoritism.
2. Know How to Explain to your child that there is a new baby in the family
Parents must explain that there is a new member that will join the family very soon and they should all love and take care of him. Expound on the importance of having a new member in the family.
3. Never demean or embarrass your older children
You must exercise empathy and understand your older children. Do not embarrass them in front of the younger children. Even though they are old, and are supposed to be more understanding, they still need your attention and understanding just like your younger child.
4. Do not compare your children
It is advisable not to compare your children regarding their looks, abilities, behavior, and grades. There must be no competition. Put emphasize that this is a family and not a sports arena. All of you should be and act like a strong team.
5. Weigh your actions
Actions speak louder than words. Although you don’t scream out the fact that you have a favorite child, it will be shown in your actions. Act and treat your children fairly.
6. Foster and teach love to your children
Parents must show and teach their children to love one another. If one sibling is bullying the other, the parents must reprimand him right away in a loving manner that he should not say or do that to his brother or sister. As parents, you must be the one to stop sibling abuse whether it might be physical, verbal, or emotional.
You must teach them how to exercise love. With love, the rivalry won’t last.
7. Promote a peaceful atmosphere
Parents could nurture a life-long friendship among their children by helping them find constructive ways to be sensitive to each other. You must shape the relationships of your children. Make them be sensitive sibs such as sib as a comforter, sib in charge, sib as the teacher, sib as the minister, sib as co-workers, sib as entertainers, and sib as co-sleepers.
Here are MORE ways to deal with sibling rivalry. Watch the video HERE.
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