To Top

Here’s The Real Psychological Damage Divorce Does To Your Children

As the years pass by, more and more people get into marriages that later end up in a messy divorce. While sometimes it happens on the first years of a marriage, there are still instances wherein it can happen 10 years or 20 years later. A divorce does not only involve the two people in the relationship but their children as well—if they have any. Have you ever wondered how a divorce affects a child from a child’s perspective?

An average of 876,000 divorces are filed each year in the United States of America

The Ugly Truth

Children grow up having the idea of a perfect family and a perfect home. Growing up, they assume that a mom and dad are meant to be together forever. We mean, who wouldn’t want to go home to a family whose members love and protect each other no matter what?

Arguments between parents have the potential to not only scare children but also damage their personality

These days, people see divorce as a very normal thing to happen, especially since it is reflected in different shows and movies every single day. It may be hard, but, everyone has to accept that divorce is something that can happen to anyone. According to a study, Europe has higher rates of divorce as compared to the United States.

Celebrities also made the idea of divorce popular since so much multi-million divorce lawsuits have been in headlines over the years. Some of the most popular divorces in Hollywood involved Chris Pratt, Anna Farris, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Matin, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Actors Mel Gibson and Robyn Moore’s $425 million-worth divorce is one of the most expensive divorces in Hollywood

Children’s Life After the Divorce

Some parents might not realize it but a divorce takes a huge toll on their children’s behavior. Having troubled parents and a bad environment at home just makes a child release his/her steam in other places like school, friends etc.

Some surveys show that 30% of kids with divorced parents admitted that they were bullies at school while 70% of them admitted to being bystanders

When a kid has to live with a parent, it sometimes brings a lot of challenges. The mom or dad might not be financially stable on their own so this just makes it harder for the kid to adjust to the daily life and needs. Some of them start developing feelings of envy and jealousy after witnessing how much their friends are being spoiled with toys, parties, vacations etc.

When a lot of negative feelings are felt after the divorce, a shift in the child’s attitude or how they live their life may happen. Some kids refuse to do good in school and have grades that come crashing down. Other kids may get rebellious while some would get really depressed. Whenever they are questioned about their changed, bad and unstable behavior, they usually put the blame on their parents’ divorce.

Depression is more likely to be experienced by kids with divorced parents

When the divorce happens no matter your kid’s age, it can result in them suffering academically, emotionally, and socially.

Anxiety and depression are common among a lot of college students and this will be made worse when problems within the family thicken. Many young adults with divorced parents tend to fool around when it comes to their love life. The idea of taking someone seriously and settling down is often neglected. The possibility of a “forever happily married” becomes far from reality.

The Good They Get Out From It

Even if a child grows up with a lot of obstacles thrown on his or her way, there are still things they learn from the whole experience. Some children take the divorce as something that will push them to be a better brother or sister. Living with a single parent, the eldest siblings would always make it a goal to fill in whatever gap is created by their missing parent.

Studies show that after a divorce, most of the children choose to live with their mother rather than their father

A child learns to become stronger and more independent after years of tiring obstacles. Parents should think twice before filing for a divorce because their children’s future depends on it. If there is a tiny bit of hope, maybe couples therapy could be a solution.

Are people getting too comfortable with the idea of a divorce?

More in Family Counseling