Got a Teenage Kid? Here Are Some Parenting Tips That You Should Live By
Perhaps one of the biggest challenges of being a parent is raising a teen. Having a young adult at home is a transitioning period for both the parents and children. With this in mind, we pulled off the following tips to help you out.
Young adults are no longer children, but adults that still live at home. Whether they’re going to college or start a job, young adults need to feel like they can assert their own independence. But they still need to maintain responsibility and accountability when it comes to being a part of the family. A recent study shows that 53 percent of young adults age 18-24 still live at home.
How to know when your kid is no longer a baby? Here’s something to help you:
- Gives you an attitude over stuff that have never been an issue before.
- Refuses to do what you ask.
- Agrees to do it and then (un)wittingly “forgets”
- Says “You don’t get it!” at least twice a day.
- Insults you under his/her breath.
- Mocks you to your face.
- Doesn’t text you back then swears they never got the msg.
- Slams doors, screams, roars, and cries regularly.
- Is not much fun to live with.
How to develop a harmonious parent-child relationship?
Remember that you are the parent.
Your job is to prepare your child to become an independent, fully-functioning adult. Being a clear-sighted, compassionate mentor is way more important than being your teen’s friend. They don’t need your friendship anyway. What they need is your moral leadership.
Treat him/her like you should
Your kid is no longer a baby. However, he/she is not an adult yet and shouldn’t be treated like one. He needs to feel like he can act his age and still have his independence.
Let him/her set his/her own rules.
As a parent, this might be the toughest thing for you to accept with your own teen kid. If your son or daughter lives at home, let him set his own rules. This doesn’t mean she/he is free to decide what to do in every situation. It does mean giving him/her a chance to exert her independence by acting like the adult she/he is, by controlling and managing chores, curfew, and homework.
Set reasonable expectations.
Talk less and listen more.
Just like us, fully-formed humans, teens want to be listened to with respect. Always be a “safe” and available person for your child to talk to. That doesn’t mean you have to accept or agree with everything, but letting your teen talk openly (without interrupting), gives them a chance to hear their own ideas played out loud. It also provides a window into their problem-solving strengths and limitations. You can use that to help them.
Keep him involved in the family.
Young adults live their own lives, but since they still live at home, it’s a wise idea to include them in all types of family events. He/she may have other plans, but it shows him/her that he/she is still part of the family.
Give them chores.
If for example your daughter lives at home, she’s still part of your family, which means she has a room, uses the bathroom, eats in the kitchen and watches TV. Because of this, she should still be given chores. Sitting down and talking to her about her school or work schedule is a good idea, so you both know what she can realistically accomplish without overburdening her.
Remain calm in the winds of change.
Nothing gets resolved when you’re too stressed to think. If you can’t respond rationally to something your teen kid did, take a break until you can.
Give him/her a deadline.
If he/she has no desire to move out, it might be a good idea to set a deadline. After all, the goal is to help him be independent. Have him set a time when he is able to support himself, and when that time comes, stick to it.
It doesn’t matter why he’s home, but praising him for a good work ethic or when he makes good choices is vital to his growth. Encouraging his progression into adulthood is a great way to instill self-confidence and self-esteem for when he does venture out on his own.
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