Connect
To Top

How Fighting With Your Spouse In Front Of Your Children Might Affect Them

Did you know that parents who fight can affect a child as young as six months old? In fact, arguments between parents or their negative behavior towards each other can affect children up to the age of 19. Parents tend to assume that since children do not have any idea about adult life, they won’t understand the dialogues exchanged. Adults almost always underestimate their children, and truth is, the young ones do not have to know words or even the context of the fight to understand what’s going on. The tension of the atmosphere alone is already a clue for them. Other factors include the tone and pitch of the voices, body language, and facial expressions. It is very important to keep the ugly marital fights away from kids. If you can, try to pick an appropriate time to have a chat with your spouse regarding whatever issue you both have instead of lashing out at each other in front of your child. If you still do not understand why it is important not to do so, then read on to know what kind of negative effects it might have on your child’s mental growth and development.

Makes The Kid Insecure

A home is a place that is synonymous with love, care, and security. When parents fight in front of their children, the home turns into a toxic, loud place. The raised voices makes kids tense and anxious. The feeling of helplessness arises from the fact that the two people whom they love most and depend on have drawn daggers. Naturally, a feeling of insecurity creeps in and can often last for a lifetime.

Sets A Bad Precedent

It doesn’t need much to understand that kids will always consider their parents as their first and most important role models. You might feel like you have been telling all the right things to your kids, and they are learning well, but in case you didn’t know, kids learn best by watching us do and say things. When it comes to fighting in front of your kids, you and your spouse tend to blame each other, scream profanities, or communicate in an unhealthy way. Remember that by acting that way, you are teaching your kids to do the same when they grow up.

Inculcates Low Self-esteem

When you fight in front of your children, they sometimes think that the fight is their fault, making them insecure and often guilty. Because of this, it might result in the child having low self-esteem. They see parents not agreeing on most things and yet staying together. This kind of conflicting issues makes them blame themselves for it.

Causes Stress

Kids love both their parents equally. Even during a fight, they do not have the sense yet to decide who is wrong and who is right. Hence, they become immensely stressed out about whose side to take. Often, it has been found that parents themselves force their children to take sides, making them even feel more distressed. Not only that, kids siding with one parent often fuels the squabble further. Hence, it is important to remember that even if you are arguing in front of your kids who are old enough, don’t pull them into your fights or force them to take sides.

Causes Lack Of Concentration

When a child’s mind is preoccupied with the issues that are plaguing their parents’ life, it is not possible for them to concentrate on academics and perform well in class. Not only do their grades suffer, they also become prone to getting sick easily and even get chronic illnesses. Another grimmer aspect of children from this kind of environment is that they are more prone to getting addicted to drugs or alcohol. Once they are big enough, they might become victims of substance abuse.

As you now know, your marital discord might take a toll on your little one’s mental health. It can even lead to serious mental disorders that might stigmatize their life forever. It has been found that children who grow up in this kind of home tend to become reckless or turn into an extreme introvert. If you want your kid to be a mentally and physically healthy child, first you need to fix the atmosphere at your home. Or better yet, try to find a better way to resolve issues with your spouse without raising voices.

More in Family Counseling

You must be logged in to post a comment Login