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Nine Signs to Tell Whether Your Therapist is Helping You or Not

Your relationships with others will start to improve

When your relation with your closed ones start to get stronger or you start forming new relationships more easily, then it’s a sign that your therapy is showing its charm on you. “People start to respond to the improvements that they see in their friends and family members, so they are more likely to include that person and be more open,” Michael J. Salas, licensed professional counselor at the Vantage Point Counseling, said. This can be the result of your constant efforts that you are putting into your present relationships, or working to step out of your comfort zone to form a new one. Here are a few signs that indicate you are in a healthy relationship.

Your relationship with your therapist is stronger

For successful therapy, it’s crucial that you possess a strong relationship with your therapist. If you’re frank and open around them from the beginning, then it shows that you are willing to open your heart and work together to solve your problems.

You hear your therapist’s voice in your head

When you are alone with your thoughts, it might happen that negative emotions start ruling on your mind. “All that second-guessing and criticism leads to anxiety and depression,” says Caroline Madden, author and licensed marriage and family therapist. “Hopefully, you have heard your therapist gently counter those thoughts enough that you start believing her and integrating them…and thereby believing in yourself.”

Your self-esteem improves

Salas sees this as the most positive sign that your therapy is working on you. The best sign indicating that you are healing is that you start to see what’s important to you and let your self-esteem improve. “They start to put things in place that help them to feel better about themselves, with less shame about doing so,” said Salas. “Rather than looking to fill their esteem tank up from only outside sources, they start to do it from within.” If you want to improve your confidence then try these simple tips.

You have a higher emotional tolerance

Therapy enables you to understand your “ deeper emotions” and how or why you experience them –empowering you with the skills to control them. “They (the clients) start to learn that these emotions can be tolerated. This helps them better understand negative emotions, while also appreciating more positive emotions,” says Salas.

You’re able to reflect on what brought you into counseling

Think back about the possible reasons that made you look out for counseling in the first place. Does that experience, event or person still brings up the same effect or feelings as it did before? Ask your family and close friends if they think your behavior or character has improved since you started seeking therapy.

You learn to take responsibility for your actions

It is important to understand why and when you overreacted in a certain situation. If you can handle observing situations that could have normally made you upset, then it’s a good sign that indicates your therapy is working. Once you accept the fact that sometimes you are the one who is getting in your way, then you will be able to grow a lot in lesser time.

Your overall health improves

Another positive sign that your therapy is working on you effectively is the improvement of your overall health, not just your emotional health but also your physical health as well. Common improvement signs are that you are now able to sleep better, you feel less lethargic, and if there are any stomach issues then it most probably will stop bothering you.

Your therapist says that you have improved

It might look like a very obvious way to answer any question of whether your therapy is working on you or not, however, it’s important to set a goal with your therapist and have a mutual understanding when it comes to creating a significant progress through this therapy. “They should have a treatment plan and be able to give you feedback on where you started and where you are now,” Madden said. “They should also be able to tell you how they see you progressing from here.”


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