Reasons Why A-List Couples Fail — Here’s What the Experts Have to Say
We all want our relationships to work. However, that seems not to happen to most couples. Reality bites, it works the other way around at least once in a lifetime. True enough, a spectacular divorce has become as essential to the celebrity lifestyle as an adopted Third World child.
Just like nobody got surprised when Britney Spears announced that her marriage to dancer Kevin Federline was to end. You only had to look at their histories. Britney’s first marriage, to schoolfriend Jason Alexander, lasted only 55 hours. Kevin left a child and a pregnant partner, Shar Jackson, to be with Britney. And the same story goes for many A-List Power Couples who put an end in their “happily ever after” love story.
Let’s hear the reasons from the experts themselves for such breakups and also some healthy and practical tips to “fix” these situations before deciding to go for a divorce.
1. Having Trust Issues
Lack or loss of trust is one of the most harmful contagions to a couple’s long-term success. Without trust, a relationship misses two of the key anchors to a strong bond: safety and security.
Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals.
2. Losing Interest
Individuals who marry someone because of physical attraction are the first ones to succumb, especially when their spouse gains weight and is no longer hot in their eyes. Not limited to physical appearance, losing interest could also mean a lack of attention to anything that a spouse is passionate about.
Be genuinely interested in everything that your spouse is engrossed in and they will do the same for you. Being a supportive and attentive partner is one of the keys to strengthening a marriage.
3. Dwindling Passion and Intimacy
Do nearly all the conversations with your spouse involve practical matters, like whose turn it is to pick your daughter up at soccer practice or what you need at the grocery store? “When communication almost exclusively revolves around the kids or the house, that’s a bad sign,” warns Sarah Allen, PsyD, a Northbrook, Illinois-based psychologist. “I have counseled many women who describe their relationship with their spouse as being similar to that between roommates. The passion and the intimacy have gone.”
Try this: Make it a point to ask your husband about his day. It may sound like a cliché, but having this conversation every night can really improve your relationship, says Angela Hicks, Ph.D., a Utah-based psychologist. She’s found that couples who discuss recent positive events with each other have increased feelings of connection to their partners.
4. Having Different Expectations
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” ― Mark Twain
It’s not easy for a couple to walk a journey together for a long time. The elements that frequently draw two people toward one-another at the beginning of a relationship – physical attraction, passion, common interests, personality connections, socio-economic backgrounds – often become less central as the realities and demands of day to day life sets in. Over time, a couple’s expectations in the relationship may differentiate, as they begin to see their respective life plans as “what I want,” instead of “what we want.”
5. Taking Him or Her For Granted
One of the biggest reasons why marriages fail is because the couples just stopped appreciating each other and all their efforts. Not acknowledging the partner’s actions will surely be the reason why marriages fail.
Saying a simple “Thank you” can do wonders for anyone especially to a secretly underappreciated and insecure partner. Offer tokens of appreciation like full body massage after a tiring day or a box of donuts when your spouse is feeling low.
6. Sharing Responsibilities
Marriage requires a lot of maturity regardless of age. Couples need to be able to handle responsibilities and trials that all marriages go through. This is extremely important especially when there are children involved. If one partner avoids duties and often passes it to the other, the marriage will eventually fail. Marriage requires the couples’ mutual effort and cooperation including making decisions, completing chores and raising the kids.
Well, we can’t exactly say that all marriages fail, but we are sure that it is more than likely that it has to do with one of the reasons mentioned above.
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